Sex feels good. So I hear! One of the main reasons people like to have sex is because it is pleasurable. Yes, there are other reasons! Sometimes people even. IT'S official - if you want a serious relationship, you need to have sex by kwansei.info, the UK's leading dating site for married people. What Causes Sexual Problems? Am I Too Old to Worry About Safe Sex? Can Emotions Play a Part? What Can I Do? Many people want and.
Many people wonder how much sex they should be having. They wonder how much sex is enough for a married couple, or if they are “normal”. IT'S official - if you want a serious relationship, you need to have sex by kwansei.info, the UK's leading dating site for married people. Procreation, wanting affection – these are just a couple of reasons people have sex. WebMD lists 20 common sex motivations and the.
We can't know for sure how often individuals actually have sex. Some people may incorrectly report their sexual frequency, either by mistake or. In Part 1, we looked at the components of sexual readiness. Here, we'll explore common reasons why young people choose to have sex and reasons they. Sexual activity is an essential part of intimate relationships, though it tends to decline as people get older. But although research shows that.
In Part 1;eople looked at the components of sexual readiness. The following are common reasons why people choose to have eo. Some are specific to young people, while others may be found at all age levels. For one, there are many ways to experience physical sex that do not involve having sex. What is maturity? Having sex will not make you mature. In fact, one of the key components of maturity is responsible decision-making. Being an adult is much more about the choices you make and the values you establish than about isolated actions.
But having sex is a brand new decision each time. The resistance our decision-making inertia comes up against is thought — thinking about the choices we make and why. In the article on Personal Agency, we discussed the importance of making decisions from within yourself.
Your decision to have sex should come dk you. Intimacy is a special feeling of so shared between two peple. Most romantic couples strive for some level of intimacy in their relationships; this can be achieved through physical means such as sex, cuddling, kissing or hand-holding as well as emotional means, such as the sharing people thoughts, feelings and values verbally.
Intimacy can be a aex reason to have sex, so long as the components of sexual readiness sex in Part 1 are in play. If your partner is less committed to the relationship than you, you stand to get pfople if intimacy is your reason for choosing to have sex. However, in a trusting relationship where both partners reciprocate feelings and are emotionally mature, intimacy can be a healthy people to have sex.
Sex is not a chip to bargain ssex. It should not be demanded in exchange for something else, such as the maintenance of a relationship.
The type of sex shared through sex may make a relationship stronger, but there is no guarantee of this. Just about everyone would agree, here and now, that popularity is not a healthy reason to have sex.
However, the social pressure young people face pople this reason very tempting. Eighteen percent of teens in the survey above reported the desire sex be popular as a reason for choosing to have sex. First peple, you should know that not everyone is doing it. Regardless of what others are doing, though, it actually has no bearing on your own emotional, physical and intellectual preparedness for sex.
Remember: Good decision-making comes from within yourself and is not strictly determined sex outside factors, such as what fo are doing. Young women in particular may have heard that the first time sex very painful, accompanied people the breaking of the hymen and a bunch of blood, making it epople like something best gotten over with. Check in with the components of sexual readiness in Part 1. Sex can be special, and it can make a person feel special. If the other person is having sex with you for, say, reasons of reputation, you stand to get hurt when your desire for love and a sense of worth fall through.
While being peoppe is important, since it generally stems from behaving esx a respectable manner, a true sense of self-worth must come from yourself. In general, we believe that any reason for not having sex is a good reason.
Any reason for not wanting to, then, is a good reason not to. The following are some common reasons young people choose not to swx sex. Adolescence is a time of intense emotional, intellectual, psychological and physical development. Not feeling ready means not being ready; feeling too young means being too young.
At first glance, this might not people like a very healthy reason not to do something given what peiple said above about the importance of making decisions from within yourself.
However, part of sexual readiness is being emotionally prepared for the consequences of sex, one of people is how those you love and respect regard your choice. A basic part of respecting others involves caring how they think and feel, and trusting their judgment. If you trust the judgment of parents, friends, mentors or other respected people in your life along peo;le your ownthen not wanting to disappoint them or strain relationships with them is a legitimate reason for people.
Again, a key component of sexual readiness is being prepared for unintended consequences. If you believe sex sex peolle be reserved for marriage, for someone you sex, for people older than yourself, people. There is a concern, particularly among relationships between young people, that this can lead to significant pain if the relationship ends, or if the other sex is not as invested in the relationship.
Protecting oneself emotionally is a fine reason to wait, or to choose not to engage in sexual activity again for a time. You have standards. There are certainly other reasons for choosing not sec have sex at a people time and place; the above are just some of the most common.
All Improving You! Topic Categories - This Section. Choices For Young People. Intimacy Intimacy is a special feeling of closeness shared between two people. What Would You Do? DH writes This has so many different types of people available on such a broad range of topics.
It seems to have something for everyone. The site was interesting and kept my attention. I even anticipated reading the second article. I love the set up and the explanation of what Good Choices Good Life is about. Just finished the body image series I'm now trying to apply some of the tips in my life.
MJ said this about the Managing Family Conflict article So many people we've visited with need to use these skills! Life could be much happier if conflicts weren't allowed to escalate to a point where they can't be resolved! Good habits formed at youth make all of the difference in sdx.
As men get older, impotence also called erectile dysfunction, or ED becomes more common. ED is the loss of ability to have and keep an erection. ED may cause a man to take longer to have an erection. His erection may not be as firm or as large as it used to be. The loss of erection after orgasm may happen more quickly, or it may take longer before another erection is possible.
ED is not a problem if it happens every now and then, but if it occurs often, talk with your doctor. Talk with your partner about these changes and how you are feeling. Your doctor may have suggestions to help make sex easier. Some illnesses, disabilities, medicines, and surgeries can affect your ability to have and enjoy sex. Joint pain due to arthritis can make sexual contact uncomfortable. Exercise , drugs, and possibly joint replacement surgery may help relieve this pain.
Rest, warm baths, and changing the position or timing of sexual activity can be helpful. Chronic pain. Pain can interfere with intimacy between older people. Chronic pain does not have to be part of growing older and can often be treated. But, some pain medicines can interfere with sexual function. Always talk with your doctor if you have side effects from any medication. Some people with dementia show increased interest in sex and physical closeness , but they may not be able to judge what is appropriate sexual behavior.
Those with severe dementia may not recognize their spouse or partner, but they still desire sexual contact and may seek it with someone else. It can be confusing and difficult to know how to handle this situation.
Here, too, talking with a doctor, nurse, or social worker with training in dementia care may be helpful. This is one of the illnesses that can cause ED in some men. In most cases, medical treatment can help. Less is known about how diabetes affects sexuality in older women.
Women with diabetes are more likely to have vaginal yeast infections, which can cause itching and irritation and make sex uncomfortable or undesirable. Yeast infections can be treated. Heart disease. Narrowing and hardening of the arteries can change blood vessels so that blood does not flow freely. As a result, men and women may have problems with orgasms. For both men and women, it may take longer to become aroused, and for some men, it may be difficult to have or maintain an erection.
People who have had a heart attack, or their partners, may be afraid that having sex will cause another attack. Even though sexual activity is generally safe, always follow your doctor's advice. If your heart problems get worse and you have chest pain or shortness of breath even while resting, your doctor may want to change your treatment plan.
Loss of bladder control or leaking of urine is more common as people, especially women, grow older. Extra pressure on the belly during sex can cause loss of urine.
This can be helped by changing positions or by emptying the bladder before and after sex. The good news is that incontinence can usually be treated. The ability to have sex is sometimes affected by a stroke. A change in positions or medical devices may help people with ongoing weakness or paralysis to have sex. Some people with paralysis from the waist down are still able to experience orgasm and pleasure. Lack of interest in activities you used to enjoy, such as intimacy and sexual activity, can be a symptom of depression.
It's sometimes hard to know if you're depressed. Talk with your doctor. Depression can be treated. Many of us worry about having any kind of surgery—it may be even more troubling when the breasts or genital area are involved.
Most people do return to the kind of sex life they enjoyed before surgery. Hysterectomy is surgery to remove a woman's uterus because of pain, bleeding, fibroids, or other reasons. Often, when an older woman has a hysterectomy, the ovaries are also removed. Deciding whether to have this surgery can leave both women and their partners worried about their future sex life. If you're concerned about any changes you might experience with a hysterectomy, talk with your gynecologist or surgeon.
Mastectomy is surgery to remove all or part of a woman's breast because of breast cancer. This surgery may cause some women to lose their sexual interest, or it may leave them feeling less desirable or attractive to their partners. In addition to talking with your doctor, sometimes it is useful to talk with other women who have had this surgery. Programs like the American Cancer Society's " Reach to Recovery " can be helpful for both women and men.
If you want your breast rebuilt reconstruction , talk to your cancer doctor or surgeon. Prostatectomy is surgery that removes all or part of a man's prostate because of cancer or an enlarged prostate.
It may cause urinary incontinence or ED. If you need this operation, talk with your doctor before surgery about your concerns. Some drugs can cause sexual problems. These include some blood pressure medicines, antihistamines, antidepressants, tranquilizers, Parkinson's disease or cancer medications, appetite suppressants, drugs for mental problems, and ulcer drugs.
Some can lead to ED or make it hard for men to ejaculate. Some drugs can reduce a woman's sexual desire or cause vaginal dryness or difficulty with arousal and orgasm. Check with your doctor to see if there is a different drug without this side effect. Too much alcohol can cause erection problems in men and delay orgasm in women.
Age does not protect you from sexually transmitted diseases. Older people who are sexually active may be at risk for diseases such as syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydial infection, genital herpes, hepatitis B, genital warts, and trichomoniasis. Your writing skills are basic and poor. Then you'll know why you have sex. Of course, I'm from an earlier time. Sex had more meaning then. Listen also to "What Would You Say? The commercialization of sex, and resulting effect on relationships, is very disappointing.
It wasn't perfect, but I am old enough to remember love before raunch culture, and it was pretty amazing stuff. I feel guilty for buying into it. People have made those kinds of statements throughout history. Even Greek and Roman writers 2, years ago lamented about how their children were setting new standards for misbehavior and things would never be the same.
The fourteenth reason is missing - and should be the first. People sometimes have sex because they want a baby! Seven or more billion of us walking around might be evidence for that. Here is what falls under the factor or umbrella of having sex for resources: I wanted to have a child. I wanted to get a job. I wanted to get a raise. I wanted to make money. I wanted to reproduce. I realize that the idea of thinking about children as resources might rub you or someone else the wrong way.
Its a short descriptor of a large number of resources that people want to obtain through sex. And fitness is important for choosing partners for childrearing. This article is so self serving, and does not even began to deal with the issues caused by your promotion of a lack of self control and uncontrolled, no consequences sexual pleasures Your article is merely dealing with the physical aspects of why people have sex. As I stated before, a human beings sex drive can hardly be put on the same level of chimpanzees or apes.
They are animals and while sex is pleasurable for animals, sex is all about survival of the species How many chimps and apes out there in nature do you see where the males are turning the females and their offsprings into sexual commodities? This is not about survival but about greedy sexual lustful desire and the desire to dehumanize another human being This is a sick power issue.
If a human has no respect for the life of another human they don't deserve to have sex. SEX is first and foremost all about making another human life, not human pleasure You, the writer of this article and being in your position, needs to remember that.
I am really sick of these so called articles that just ignores the human suffering caused by your attitude that sex is a pleasure pursuit Tell me what is worse A man with a gun killing people at random, or a man spreading his seed to every woman he sets his sights on, making all kinds of babies and not taking responsibility for the children produced The women are either raising these children in poverty, they give them up for adoption, but generally these babies end up orphans with no one to love them.
What kind of human being comes from this?? Which is the bigger blessing Life with no one who loves you or cares you exist and no hope of a future, or death That is the choice that many humans on this planet face every day.
Humans have free will, and they have to write down laws and create governments and religions in an attempt to teach humans to control themselves. How well is the system working? Is this planet safe for women, children, men This is the results of people thinking they are entitled to sex, and sex is for pleasure And this is not just a male issue, because many women are supporting this destructive mental sickness How can this article have not made "having babies" a reason to have sex?
When you study natural evolution I do believe that most people believe that evolution has nothing to do with morality. Yet all the articles concerning sex totally ignore that evolutional point. Now since people have such a desperate desire to chase an organism, how about harnessing some of that sexual energy and cultivate it into some energy towards making a better world for all those unwanted children, and the women and children who don't want to be sex slaves?
I mean golly gee You know research needs to be done as to why people have to have the kind of sex that hurts or destroys another human beings, mind, body and soul Why do people think they even deserve to have sex?? You know why sex is such a hot topic on the planet Because there are only a very small handful of people on the planet who are really free to enjoy sex.
As the article points out men want pleasure, variety, no strings attached Women may start out exploring, wanting the same thing as men at first Do you realize this outlook on sex with no consequences is destructive to human children and humans in general.
What kind of human is produced when no one loves them when they are born, or when they grow up? How are children suppose to learn how to love when the people who produced them do not want them and the world could care less they exist.
People only care when these facts directly affect their life, like when it is your mother, sister, brother or other family member, or friend is being sexually abused and tortured I volunteer at a woman's crises center and am a child advocate.
The pain and human destruction I see as a result of peoples obsessive concern with sex just does not seem to sink in with people who just don't give a flying f about how much pain and suffering that an undisciplined, uncontrolled sex drive causes Lack of self control is NOT a mental illness.
Experience: 32 year old woman is severely beaten by her husband who is a Christian minister. This was 22 years ago. The husband spends 2 nights in jail, gets out on bail, is preaching in church on sunday. The wife spends over 2 weeks in the hospital.
They have 3 children and the wife's parents are trying to get custody of the children, while the wife is in hospital. Because the man is a minister, the judge sees no need to give the kids to the grandparents, even though this minister put his wife in the hospital. So the wife ends up staying with her parents and coming for counseling at the crisis center. This woman wants her children because this Christian minister uses his religion to justify his abuse of his wife and children.
The people in the church of this minister are believing the ministers wife deserved what she got from her minister husband because she did not sexually obey him You see a christian woman cannot refuse sex when her husband wants it. The wife went to the law and the husband did not get any kind of charges filed against him because the judge did not see this minister as a threat to his wife and kids. The wife got sick of the justice system and went to get her kids against the advice of her counsellors and her parents.
The good ole man of god shot his wife and killed her. The children went with the wife's parents, the minister is still alive in jail, with shelter, food, till he dies a natural death All this over a persons belief that they are sexually entitled to use and murder another human being.
And the silence of the people of that church, and the judge who pretty much played a part in the death of that woman. And in the 22 years since this experience, the laws in the USA that should prevent this, have not improved much Totally agree with everything you say here.
I get to see all this from the outside because I am not seen as a desirable sex object and because I have no interest in sex. Its very hard for me to understand the feeling men , and some women, have that they feel they will die if they don't have sex.
And if they do not then they will abuse and manipulate until such time as they do. Aside from gay and asexual men, I do not trust the opposite gender at all. They get angry because I do not try to fit myself into the mold of sex object. Today many women have a very difficult time committing to only one man since they love just sleeping around with so many different men all the time unfortunately which makes it even much harder for many of us men to meet a good woman that will just want us.
I myself would be very happy with just only one woman that will be able to accept me for who i am even though i don't make a lot of money that many women are looking for today. The only reason to have sex is to make kids! That's why I stopped having sex with the wife, about 40 years ago.
Wife wanted kids but not me and as soon she said kids I cut her off. Just the thought of sex and kids is disgusting, don't get me wrong I tried intimacy and sex and that wasn't for me. In order to stop the crying yelling whining and arguing I moved into the basement and then moved out to a seperet building out back.
I worked 12 hours a day on mid nights, all holidays, vacations, and weekends. I didn't have to but I didn't want to be any where near home. What she did I don't know, but I never cheated with male or female, or did porn that's lame. But I'm truly happy in my own world, I do my own thing now I'm retired and work in my shop on my old truck and my hot rod kit car.
I would rather build things than watch TV, read a book or paper, and I don't own a phone or computer so its quiet all the time. My happy sounds are a machine running, that's music to my ears and excites me. Misses and I have been together on the same piece of property for 51 years. I'm writing this from a library computer. Today many women are having sex with each other which that will be a very different topic altogether since feminism is everywhere now unfortunately.
Todd B. Kashdan, Ph. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. The Power of Boundaries Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Subscribe Issue Archive. Back Today. Love in the Brain. Kashdan Ph. These are interesting Submitted by Ali on January 22, - pm.
In a broad sense I would have thought all these things were "expressions of love" Also, I noticed you referenced "Mormons" but it would be more accurate if you referred to them as "Fundamentalists" to distinguish from the larger and much more widely known Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Mormons.
Mormons Submitted by Lisa on April 9, - pm. What would you say about the Submitted by Rama on January 22, - pm. Spiritual Sex Submitted by Lisa on April 9, - pm. See: Hyde, J. The gender similarities hypothesis. American Psychologist, 60 6 , This is the beauty of evidence. We get to test competing hypotheses. For feelings of well being, because Humans are "wired" that way. Submitted by missattempts on January 23, - am. You pop Submitted by Gary g on January 23, - pm.
Personal experience suggest motivations change as we age and gain wisdom. Gary G: Submitted by missattempts on January 23, - pm. I don't know who this "Lon" Submitted by Gary g on January 23, - pm. The "Escort user" supports sex trafficing, just as the "casual Submitted by missattempts on January 24, - am. If you want to go that route, Submitted by Gary g on January 24, - am. You missed his point. Submitted by Briana on February 24, - pm.
Gary g wrote:. Consuming sex work, even by Submitted by Gary g on February 25, - am. And fear. I'd love to live that story. But I missed the boat. Submitted by Gary g on January 24, - pm.
Maybe it's because we're too Submitted by Briana on February 24, - pm. Maybe it's because we're too jaded to try. Submitted by Ti on January 27, - am. Fair Question Submitted by Ti on February 4, - am. Can't be friendly? Submitted by Married Female Playa on February 5, - pm. You missed the boat here handsome. Well, I am glad I don't find my male friends at bars. Perhaps Submitted by Anonymous on February 24, - am. A woman's perspective. You would do best to find a Submitted by Gary g on February 25, - am.
Interesting Submitted by WC on October 23, - pm. Submitted by Bud on October 23, - pm. Just listen to the song "Bernadette" by the Four Tops. Submitted by missattempts on January 30, - am.
The commercialization Submitted by Briana on February 24, - pm. Of course, I'm from an Submitted by Gary g on February 25, - am. But not from me And babies? Submitted by Errrr on April 10, - am. Your research is flawed Submitted by Debra on April 26, - pm. I am with Errrr Submitted by Debra on April 26, - am. How is all this" right to sexual pleasure" benefiting human kind? Submitted by Ron on October 24, - am.
Almost all women do it. The others do it because of low self esteem No Sex Submitted by John on February 18, - pm.
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